Welcome Back

wogma rating: Switch channels if it's on cable (?)

quick review:

I laughed while watching Welcome Back. At interval, a tentative girl apologized to the boy accompanying her to the movie and asked if he wanted to leave. That was the only thing that made me laugh while watching Welcome Back.

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Director: Anees Bazmee
Running time: 150 minutes
Genres: Slapstick
More Movie Info

Welcome Back - Preview

Why? All I can think of is “WHY?” Yes, in all caps.

There is absolutely nothing in the trailer to make me want to make a trip to the theaters for this one. Not to mention, the foggy, unpleasant memories from the first episode in the series.

Things get only worse with a look at the cast – while I have barely overcome Paresh Rawal and Nana Patekar's inclusion in the list, we now also have Naseeruddin Shah and Dimple Kapadia! Please tell me I misread.

Maybe, I will call in sick after all. Or just copy-paste milliblog's music review from below.

Music Reviews:
glamsham - "3/5"
Milliblog – "NW1W" (which translates to “Not Worth 1 Word”

- meeta, a part of the audience

I think, I've seen it all now. Dimple Kapadia goes all slapstick-y. A fine actor turns to over-the-top acting to play an ill-defined character. Nothing else can be as repulsive. By now, we have gotten used to some of the other actors – Paresh Rawal, Nana Patekar and even Naseeruddin Shah once in a while - showing up in a film that considers even scratching the surface of their acting capabilities a crime. Getting a dignified actress like Dimple Kapadia to do so feels like a hit under the audience's belt.

It doesn't come as a surprise that she is the most restrained of them all. The other two main women in the film, Shruti Haasan and Ankita Srivastava are miraculously both central to the plot and completely irrelevant. If you can call a reformed goons, Uday (Nana Patekar) and Majnu (Anil Kapoor) finding himself a new sister to be married off a plot at all.

In the first hour of the film or so, there seemed to be some coherence because everything that happened somehow revolved around getting the sister or themselves married. After a couple of rounds of sexual objectification and standing up against it, it all boils down to one thing – getting married.

Even the bigger goon, Wanted, yeah, that's his name (Naseeruddin Shah) is also focussed on getting his son married off. The son, is played by no less than Shiney Ahuja, wh o goes over board in being over board about anything he does in the film.

As the movie moves into its last half hour or so though, everything becomes more and more bizarre. By now, the writers have even stopped trying to make sense. Sure, that was only a matter of time.

I really don't know what to say. Why anyone thinks any of this is even remotely funny, I don't understand. Even the one-liners are WhatsApp forwards. A couple rare lines bring a smile. Sure, there were a few laughters in the theater. But, if I had to guess it would be more because they were laughing at the film rather than with it.

- meeta, a part of the audience

26 reviewers(?) - 4 yays 15 so-so 7 nays

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

Thumbs up, by IST, Bollywood Hungama : ...On the whole, if you enjoy slapstick comedy that defies logic and have enjoyed WELCOME, then WELCOME BACK is surely a paisa vasool entertainer for you. ... full review

Thumbs up, by Gayatri Gauri, FirstPost : ...Welcome Back kicks up a storm of utter nonsense thanks to terrific comic timing by Patekar and Kapoor. And it happens to be a welcome break from 24/7 coverage of murder, financial crashes and other serious news — purely because of the two talented actors who hop, skip, dance and fool around with complete conviction. ... full review

Thumbs up, by Jyothi Venkatesh, Star Blockbuster : ...Last Word: The film, which is nothing but old wine in new bottle, is worth watching if you ready to enjoy it after keeping aside your brain.... full review

Thumbs up, by Dhriti Sharma, ZEENEWS.COM : ...One thing which no one can let go! Akshay Kumar is immensely missed, however, Anil-Nana have sprinted the movie with their superb performances. Audiences will surely welcome 'Welcome Back' warmly. You will come back with a laughter fit!... full review

So-So, by Suparna Sharma, Deccan Chronicle : ...The film is at its best when Nana, Anil and Paresh partake in what looks like spontaneous banter. They jam, almost. Their timing is impeccable. And they keep us distracted from the fact that Welcome Back is actually quite a bad film. John Abraham is the quintessential burly goofball and that’s what he plays here rather well. He’s so cute and vacant that we both could, you know, move bag and baggage into his head and order takeout. ... full review

So-So, by Aneela Zeb Babar, Desi Martini : ... Vada Pao. Paisa Vasool. Minimum Expectations. ... full review

So-So, by Yatharth Chauhan , Desi Martini : ...Welcome Back does little justice to match the aura of its prequel! ... full review

So-So, by Sarita A Tanwar, DNA : ...If you’re in the mood for brain-dead humor, this is it. And if you’re avid fans of Uday and Majnu Bhai. ... full review

So-So, by Johnson Thomas, Free Press Journal : ...The music is lively but forgettable and does little other than punctuate the tempo. Kabir Lal’s cinematography though, adds to the validity of the visuals. Bazmee is an absurdist filmmaker who throws in every imaginable absurdity( including John Abraham running across camel humps in his effort to rescue Wanted Bhai) and milks them for a barrel full of laughs. And he scores big time with ‘Welcome Back.’ While the sequences are overstretched they never outlive their Welcome. This is by far his most fluid and zaniest laugh riot- thanks to those four stalwarts lending it their all!... full review

So-So, by Nupur Barua, fullhyd.com : ...Have fun this weekend, as you welcome back the goons with a heart of gold, who have been struggling to establish themselves as respectable men for years now. ... full review

So-So, by Rohit Vats, Hindustan Times : ...Welcome Back is funny in parts, but that ‘Welcome’ fluidity is missing big time. There are moments but they are very limited in number. Welcome Back’s pace is its biggest asset and that may make you enjoy this 153-minute long film. ... full review

So-So, by RAJEEV MASAND, IBN Live : ...It also doesn't help that the climax is one big bloated mess of underwhelming set-pieces, including sky-diving henchmen, a camel stampede, an attack by mini-helicopter bombs, and a CGI sandstorm. All of it is infantile and tedious, and as the film limps towards the 150-minute mark, you just want it to be over. ... full review

So-So, by Ananya Bhattacharya, india today : ...In a nutshell, Welcome Back is quite the laugh riot that can de-stress you after the atrocities of the week. Leave the brains aside, and you have (at least) two hours of hardcore fun. ... full review

So-So, by Shubha Shetty-Saha, MiD DAY : ...Overall, it's a fun watch which will keep you snorting and giggling even after you exit the theatre.... full review

So-So, by Jaidev Hemmady, Movie Talkies : ...The music is totally forgettable and the second half seems to drag on and on. Over-the-top action sequences and a stretched climax scene prove to be the film’s undoing, though some genuinely funny scenes and dialogues salvage the situation. ... full review

So-So, by Raja Sen, Rediff : ...If only this were shorter, crisper, a bit smarter, with just a touch more… um, control, Mr Bazmee, control. ... full review

So-So, Sify Movies : ...This constantly hyperbolic film- at all times- is loud, unsubtle and silly. What makes up for this mayhem is the super-cool senior ensemble cast- Nana Patekar, Anil Kapoor, Dimple Kapadia, Paresh Rawal and Naseeruddin Shah. It is these masterful actors that put the mirth in this mayhem! ... full review

So-So, by Meena Iyer, Times of India : ...Anil and Nana must be credited for convincingly playing jokers; kudos to Dimple, Paresh and Naseer for letting go. Surely, the stellar cast has done this film either for a handsome payment or in the sincere hope that it will reign at the box office.... full review

So-So, by Rummana, yahoo! India : ...‘Welcome Back’ is not completely insufferable and there is definitely some fun to be had. It helps that John Abraham looks like a million bucks and seems to have enjoyed playing this part. Anees Bazmee also keeps cringe-worthy humour to a bare minimum. If slapstick is your kind of thing, then you will enjoy this one. ... full review

Thumbs down, by Sreeju Sudhakaran, Bollywood Life : ...In Welcome Back, you have inserted the scenes from the first film to build context to why this film exists in the first place. You shouldn’t have done that, ‘cos every viewer in the theatre is there because they enjoyed that film. Those scenes only made me pine to watch that film again, go to IMDB and increase its rating. As for this film of yours, sorry sirs, Welcome Back is NOT welcome at all! ... full review

Thumbs down, by Smita Vyas Kumar, Desi Martini : ...A nonsensical caper that will appeal to the lowest, basest part of your brain. Watch if your brain is on a sabbatical. ... full review

Thumbs down, by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com : ...WELCOME BACK is not a patch on WELCOME (2007). John Abraham [the one referring to the cast as senior citizens] is seen here as the Mumbai bhai. His acting is a cross between Salman Khan and Anil Kapoor. Hum Ko, Tum Ko, Kai Ko, Apun Ko flows freely (is he reinventing himself?) Shruti Haasan needs to have a session with her parents (Sarika and Kamal Haasan) for diction, body language and dialogue delivery. Just putting all her time and energies on her looks is not going to get her anywhere. She looks completely different from what we saw her on screen in her first film, LUCK. [She looked warm, sensuous and had screen presence then]. ... full review

Thumbs down, by Surabhi Redkar, koimoi : ...Welcome Back is no where close to Welcome so I suggest you don’t go watching this film with expectations of the previous one. If your tastes involve logic defying humor filled with crassness, you will love this film. I am going with a 2/5 for this film. ... full review

Thumbs down, by Uday Bhatia, Live Mint : ...The tackiness extends to the special effects: the climactic sequence, which takes place in the desert, has exploding remote-controlled mini-helicopters, two camel stampedes and a dust storm. It also has a blind man regaining his sight, which is ironic, considering Welcome Back is likely to make you want to claw your eyes out.... full review

Thumbs down, by Saibal Chatterjee, NDTV : ...Welcome Back is stuck in the past. Why go there? ... full review

Thumbs down, by ANUJ KUMAR, The Hindu : ...Naseeruddin Shah surrenders himself to the chaos. As the visually impaired don, Bazmee has given Naseer the “Sparsh” of crass. He calls him Wanted bhai as if to remind the actor that he is sought after in Bazmee’s bizarre universe as well. Naseer returns the favour. After every punch-line he keeps reminding the cynical critics, mazaaq tha bhai, (it was a joke!) Indeed. ... full review

Twitter reviews for this movie are not available.

3 readers - 1 yays 0 so-so 2 nays

Want to Watch, by TimELiebe : Kind-of Maybe Want to Watch? If There's Nothing Better On...?

Yay! Thumbs Up, by Fan : Welcome back

Nay! Thumbs Down, by Anuj

Nay! Thumbs Down, by Anup : Aneez Bazmi is still one of the most disliked director of mine.

This page has additional observations, other than the ones noted in the main review.

Parental Guidance:

  • Violence: Lot of monkeying around with guns. A couple of fist fights too.
  • Language: Some abusive language.
  • Nudity & Sexual content: Skimpily clad women, shirtless John Abraham and Rajpal Yadav. Kissing is implied.
  • Concept: Goons wanting to get their sister married and wanting to get married themselves too.
  • General Look and Feel: Loud, garish.

Detailed Ratings (out of 5):

Direction:
Story:
Lead Actors:
Character Artists:
Dialogues:
Screenplay:
Music Director:
Lyrics:

Comments (21)

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Fan

@Meetu: Harsh words (at least for the first part). However logicless it was, the movie was still a full-on entertainer. And the BO proved that.

Of course the second installment has yet to redeem himself. Statistically the 2nd installment is almost always a dud (even in Hollywood) - so wait and see.

Poor Meetu! Having to grit her teeth and watch the sequel to a dumb comedy....

We liked WELCOME, but of course that was largely due to it starring Akshay Kumar, who Tammy loves - and Anil Kapoor's hilarious turn as as an artistically inclined gangster. I don't know if she'll like the Akshay-less sequel nearly as much....

Fan

@TimELiebe: share your thoughts. Wonder if an Akshay-less sequel to a hit given by Akshay (even though it was a logicless film) would survive. Personally I do not rate the model-turned-actor John Abraham's acting skills on a high level. Despite him being a nice guy, and involved in several comic capers, I have always found him a single expression guy in whatever film he has done. So a lot will depend on the antics of Anil Kapoor, Nana Patekar and Paresh Rawal (and hopefully a bit from Naseeruddin's act but promos show him to be loud and over the top). So wait and watch. Only a few days left for the suspense to unveil.

Anup

I Was actually shocked that many of the dialogues are funny but the length was too long and the interval between such jokes were too much. Also we need a good characters and atleast a plot to back up such dialogues. But o guess story writer has not wasted his time in writing the plot.
Although i dont like when Akhsay do chidish characters but he was cute in WELCOME. But John not being anywhere close to cute is one of the worst actor to cast in a comedy role..And why the hell Nassir Shah waste himself in such bad characters..He was most irritating of them all and not funny at all , and its only after his arival the movie became worst.
thanks to the chemistry of Nana and Anil with support of Paresh Rawal and dialogue writer at least the first half was not boring.
And yes it has one of the worst cilmax bollywood ever have..
oh i forgot to mention the loud ear bursting songs and back ground score , without any rhyme , just being noises..

Anuj

Poor old Naseer "saab". This hypocrite has spent a lifetime criticising Amitabh Bachchan and attempting to prove that Sholay is a mediocre piece of art when all he himself can manage is a 5th lead in a senseless commercial comedy (the very brand of cinema he's been ranting against all his life). He represents of the true face of parallel cinema bigotry, something that the cappuchino class and worthless so-called critics swear by. I hope the 2 faced [comment partially deleted for abusive personal attack.] knows that the only reason people know of his existence is courtesy "commercial blockbusters" like Karma & Tridev. And yet some actors along with their cronies try to be bigger than the Amitabh Bachchan!

Anup

Anuj - Its like you always copy paste the same thing about Naseer..
Please write something new..

@Fan - "logic"? What is this "logic" of which you use in the same sentence as "Akshay Kumar"...? :D Honestly, I'm trying to remember if I've ever seen an Akshey Kumar vehicle that "logicless" didn't describe perfectly. I can't remember a single one - they're all like that! Either you enjoy his particular brand of silliness, or you don't....

Maybe it's just the editing, but from the trailer this movie looks like a GOLMAAL item number from start to finish. I had to keep checking the credits above to make sure Rohit Shetty didn't direct this movie!

Yeah - the best thing I can say about John Abraham is he sure looks ripped, don't he? As an actor - he's about at Abhishek Bachchan's level, competent but rarely inspired. You keep wishing somebody else would play the part instead, who might bring more than muscles and a boyish smile to the proceedings.

I like the older actors, mainly - I even like Naseeruddin Shah playing an old Godfather type who doesn't let a little thing like losing his eyesight stop him from shooting the place up! Though WTF happened to Paresh Rawal's voice? He sounds like he was miked with a kid's walkie-talkie, at least in the trailer.

Fan

Welcome Back!!!

Those who loved Welcome are very likely going to enjoy this one. Equally slapstick if not more. Those who hated Welcome, Meetu included reading her review of Welcome, should stay miles away from it because if you didn't judge it from the promos then let me warn you that this just continues where the original had signed off.

Only sticking points are John and Shiney. There is that nagging feeling on seeing John that somebody else with a far superior comic timing would have been a better choice in his place.

Dimple is subdued. Probably not her cup of tea this slapstick stuff. Probably a deal struck by Akshay for dearest mother in law to be in the film as he was probably unavailable? The leading ladies are an eyesore. But all that is far then compensated by top comic act from Nana Patekar, Anil Kapoor and Paresh Rawal who get almost 80% of the screen time.

There are sufficiently whacky situations to put you into splits. The chemistry between Paresh Rawal and Rajpal Yadav is awesome. The graveyard sequence is a laugh riot.

Enjoy the film.

And for all critics, I would politely request you to look up the definition of "slapstick" in any English dictionary worth its salt before blowing their trumpet about "film lacking sense or story". Even Laurel Hardy films are outright slapstick without any rhyme or logic.

Fan

@TimELiebe: you have dared to do the utmost blasphemy by saying that Akshay's films don't have logic.

Fan

@TimELiebe : my previous comment got truncated due to use of smileys. It gives a very wrong and even an opposite perception of what I wanted to say. Let me try once again, this time only with text characters.

You have dared to do the utmost blasphemy by saying that Akshay's films don't have logic. ;-) ;-) ;-) Don't you know who is the greatest admirer of Akshay Kumar's Baby on this site? :-) :-) :-)

Anuj

"Honestly, I'm trying to remember if I've ever seen an Akshey Kumar vehicle that "logicless" didn't describe perfectly. I can't remember a single one - they're all like that! Either you enjoy his particular brand of silliness, or you don't...." ~ you've obviously never heard of OMG,Special 26 & of course, Baby (not to mention the "mass entertainers" like Holiday & Gabbar which are too unpolished and tacky for the armchair critics and their cronies). Or perhaps your statement might have been different had these films been starring an Aamir Khan!

Anuj

And I perhaps forgot to put Mohra (yet another mass entertainer starring Naseer 'saab'), Hera Pheri, Aankhen & Khakee to the above list. So that's 7 films of Akshay which are better than any of the rubbish the NRI king kong has ever enacted in his entire life (barring a couple)

Fan

The humongous commercial success of Welcome can be gauged from several facts.

a) In the calendar year 2007 it was the 4th Akshay Kumar film. The other 3 being Namaste London, Heyy Babyy and Bhool Bhulaiya. One would have typically expected an audience fatigue to yet another Akshay film going against the film's commercial success.

b) horrible soundtrack. A simple analysis of all failed films would definitely have at least one common trait in that their songs sucked. Having a good soundtrack is one of the most important ingredient for a Hindi film to succeed commercially.

c) releasing the same date as an Amir Khan starrer and hugely successful Taare Zameen Par. And giving a tough competition to TZP.

Despite all these adverse factors and despite a constant thrashing of all wannabe critics the movie was a runaway success and is considered in the blockbuster category.

Just to show that if a Hindi film entertains then there is no stopping its success, even if the critics are wondering what a majority sees in the film that they cannot see.

Anuj

@Fan : On the contrary, Akshay was riding a wave in 2007 as all 3 films before Welcome were box office successes (despite being bogus imo). Hence that only increased the anticipation and craze for Welcome. As for the TZP factor, TZP was always only & only for the multiplex crowd in metropolitan cities. Welcome had a universal appeal across A.B & C centers and hence was obviously the bigger grosser among the two (although TZP was a bigger hit in terms of ROI). But yes, had it not been for TZP, Welcome would easily have surpassed OSO to become the top domestic grosser of 2007. Unfortunately that did not happen and hence till date, Akshay does not have even a single top annual grosser in his 24 year career.

Anuj

Even big daddies of worthlessness like the Raja Sen's and Masand's of the world have mellowed down a little bit and at least given Welcome Back a ho-hum rating instead of ripping it apart completely (like they did with Welcome in 2007). I guess very soon Meeta Kabra is gonna be entering that rare breed of film critics who are so self obsessed by their own choices that they're completely blind to anything and everything happening around them. Worse, they're not even willing to give the other side of the audience a consideration.

Anuj

Watched it and I regret wasting 300 bucks on this. Frankly, there is nothing new that Welcome Back has to offer that we haven't already seen in its already mediocre prequel. At least Akshay invoked a few laughs and Katrina/Mallika invoked some oomph! This one is a loud, migrane inducing desperate attempt at slapstick comedy that falls flat for most part except the scenes involving Nana and Rawal. Read my review on

http://bollywoodboxofficedata.blogspot.in/2015/09/welcome-back-review-migraine-inducing.html

Anuj

But ya, i must add that Welcome Back is a good entertainer for brain-dead noobs who laugh to splits watching Chennai Express and other Rohit Shetty films.

@Fan - I figured, okay hoped you were kidding! :D

I have seen movies where Akshay Kumar reminds you that he's capable of being a really good actor - but he mostly seems happy to be the version of himself he kidded in Om Shanti Om.

OTOH, he's still better at it than John Abraham....

Fan

@TimELiebe: of course I was joking. Hence the importance of the smileys. That's why I mentioned that the truncated message gives a very wrong perception of what I want to say.

Anuj

As expected, this pile of trash has crashed at the multiplexes and metros after its initial weekend. Its only the B/C centers, tier 2 cities and single screens that are holding it together. Perhaps due to a lack of choice!

Hence the importance of the smileys.

Hence Indeed, @Fan! :)

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