Red

wogma rating: Switch channels if it's on cable ^(?)

quick review:

The very foundation of this murder mystery is ridiculous! Top it off with an expressionless Celina Jaitley and a just about average performance by Aftab Shivdasani. Even if it is a short film, your time will be better spent sleeping.

Director: Vikram Bhatt

Cast: Celina Jaitley, Aftab Shivdasani

Running time: 105 minutes

Genres: Murder Mystery, Thriller

More Movie Info

The best thing about the movie is its length – the torture lasts for a relatively short time. Doesn’t the first lesson in “Murder Mystery Story Writing -101” cover that plot twists have to come at regular intervals? If it does not teach that, it must at the very least have mentioned that you certainly cannot have all your plot twists squeezed in the last fifteen minutes as a narrative, however short your movie is.

Okay, maybe we didn’t have time to do the murder mystery story writing course that I am raving about. But didn’t “Movie-Making -101” mention that you need people who have some sort of acting skills to play the lead roles? Celina Jaitley’s facial muscles, body language and dialogue delivery are so stiff that even if the entire budget of the movie was spent on getting an expression out of her, it wouldn’t help. A few scenes in the dark were effectively used to hide her face when she needed to show charged emotions. Kindly appreciate how craftily I avoided using the words ‘Celina Jaitley’ and ‘acting’ in the same sentence. Oops! I just did it, will make a better attempt next time! The intimate scenes are steamy but exist only to sensationalize. Aftab was just alright.

One person who surely has taken lessons is the lyricist, Sameer. Of course, he quit after the basic course which taught him to use rhyming words at the end of each sentence. The music sounded like any other Himesh Reshammiya product, namely bad.

Weak narration style, weaker character sketches, and godawful dialogues. Top it off with women who think sighing = acting. Now I need to find an education programme that teaches me to not watch everything that is churned out.

- meeta, a part of the audience

17 reviewers^(?) - 0 yays 1 so-so 16 nays

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

So-So, by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com : ...Displaying innocence when needed and aggression along with her passionate scenes, Celina impresses.... full review

Thumbs down, by Nikhil Kumar, Apun Ka Choice : ...The sad part is that the suspense is there only for the characters in the film. For the viewers, it doesn’t take more than minimal common sense to realize who is playing the manipulative game in the movie’s plot.... full review

Thumbs down, by Prema K., Bollyvista.com : ...Nothing new about the film. Add to this a lack luster star cast and obviously you have a flop in your hands.... full review

Thumbs down, by Sanjay Ram, Business of Cinema : ...With corny dialogues the movie is a bumme... full review

Thumbs down, Cybernoon: ...Bhatt gives the film a dark, rainy, ‘arty’ look, which, frankly, in a film like this is a waste of the cinematographer and lab guys’ effort.... full review

Thumbs down, by Angel Rani, Deccan Herald : ...He leisurely introduces a murder angle, sadly your little brain spoils all the fun by spotting the killer from a mile.... full review

Thumbs down, by Aprajita Anil, Express India : ...Celina! Well the lesser said, the better it would be.... full review

Thumbs down, by Rajeev Masand, IBN Live : ...Believe me, I've read class five essays that are better written... full review

Thumbs down, by Taran Adarsh, IndiaFM : ...Most importantly, the writing [story-screenplay: Manoj Tyagi] is outright tacky. It vacillates between komsi-komsa to amateurish to confused.... full review

Thumbs down, by Abhijit Mhamunkar, indya.com : ...The story can be predicted in the first 15 minutes itself... full review

Thumbs down, by Vaibhav Wankhede, M TV : ...RED will make the audience see red with all the awkward kissing... full review

Thumbs down, by MovieTalkies.com, Movie Talkies : ...A film noir that is dark and stylish in texture but low on mystery... full review

Thumbs down, by Subhash K Jha, Now Running.com : ...The first-half of this blessedly brief movie moves at a fairly frisky pace.... full review

Thumbs down, by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com : ...Much improved from her previous performances... full review

Thumbs down, by Komal Mehta, Rediff : ...The rest of the movie is plain Sex. Murder. Sex. A Song. Police. More Sex. Then more Murder.... full review

Thumbs down, by Naomi Datta, Times Now : ... To call Red pedestrian would be to compliment it.... full review

Thumbs down, by Nikhat Kazmi, Times of India : ... It's neither edge-of-the-seat, nor intense and dark.... full review

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This page has additional observations, other than the ones noted in the main review.

Warning: this section has some details that could distort your experience while watching the movie. I strongly recommend reading this only after you have seen the movie or if you have decided not to see it.

Plot Summary

Neel's heart needs replacement because it has a hole in it. He finds a suitable donor and wants to thank him and his family after the transplant. He gets a lot more than a simple, "you are welcome". What exactly? If you are desperate enough, you will have to catch the movie some time.

What Worked

The last but one sequence in which the audience is told how Neel knows the truth interspersed with the love-making.

What did not

Note: This section simply lists the things that I did not like in this movie. This is not the overall impression about this movie. Please read the full review here

The opening scene was absolutely irrelevant. What ever happened to the dog that Neel was so concerned about?
The stitches for the heart surgery were painted vertically all along the center of Neel's chest with a purple colored marker pen, or at least that's what it looked like. Wasn't there enough money to have a decent make-up artist?
Ria was a pretty chirpy character. She was all fun even though her friends passed away.
The way Anahita's character was portrayed. It was very obvious what she is up to right from the beginning.
Your friend slits her wrist to take her life. What do you do? Tie something on her wrist to stop the bleeding. Ok, maybe not with a curtain (that's what Neel uses). Then? Anyone hear of a doctor around here?
Rocky ran and climbed steps awfully fast for a person who has been hit on his legs real hard.
There were some really stupid police officers who were put on Neel's trail.
It was pretty lame, the way Neel's heart medicines (to keep him from catching infections) are used in the movie.

Nitty-Gritty

This section lists things that I think are not important to the overall impact of the movie. In most cases, it could be explained away by something like, "we noticed the glitch after the scene was shot and there were schedule/budget issues and thus we could not re-shoot it". I like giving the makers the benefit of doubt, but I am amused nevertheless. Hopefully, they will tickle you too.

Don't tubes running through your nose mean you need help breathing. Can you really sit-up and get wet in the monsoons?
Are night clubs still called "discos" by people who frequent them? That's what Anahita calls them in a phone conversation with Riya
The word "grieving" was spelt wrong in a newspaper! It was spelt as “greiving”.
Weren't there one too many televisions in Anahita's house. I spotted one room with two of them.
Why on earth did Anahita and Neel gulp down their champagne instead of sipping on it?
What was with the shot where Neel is shown getting wet in the rain outside the white wooden gate
Why were there tears in Neel and Ria's eyes in the last scene?
When exactly do Anahita and Neel decide meeting points. And they find a nice little garage to suit their sexual fantasies right in the middle of being chased for murder