wogma rating: Switch channels if it's on cable (?)
The story got left behind, far behind. What story, you may ask? And a good question it would be. I can't find a single nice thing to say about a film. Not a line, not one joke. What can you do when the maker's aim is to make an awful film? It runs literally dead slow and has not as much as an iota to savor.Read more
An auspicious red and golden cloth flies across the bright blue Los Angeles sky. It is intercut between shots of the source and the destination - Sim's (Kareena Kapoor's) purse on to Viraj's (Akshay Kumar's) face. Creativity of the 50s-90s reproduces itself in Kambakkht Ishq. What were they thinking? Sorry, "thinking" is way too big a word.
Usually, even if it's a bad film, I end up saying, "at least it put some money in the flow, good for the economy." But, I cannot stop hurting at the crores and crores of Rupees drowning from the drain to the core of the earth. What is it that prompted the supposed top-of-the-line stars of the country to entertain this no-line (ouch...just can't make myself call it a plot) and expect the film-starved country to be entertained?
Unless the definition of entertainment has changed to - slo-mo entries, cake fight at a wedding, slap-a-thing-slap-it-again, leching, disgusting innuendos, and so on and so forth. The loud-louder-loudest, loud-louder-loudest contest between Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor, Aftab Shivdasani, Amrita Arora, Jaaved Jaffrey, Kirron Kher and basically the entire cast is insufferable. Kirron Kher and Jaaved Jaffrey should now retire from this genre. For that matter Akshay and Kareena will do themselves AND US good too by not allowing such projects to find its way on the screen. Kareena looks good but she almost always does. So, what's the value-addition made by this particular set of makers?
Having the stalwarts of Hindi films cameo for your film is passé. Hollywood is the new trend. So, we have what looks like stock-footage of Bruce Willis to Angelina Jolie attending a "Stuntman's award ceremony". Then we have Denise Richards, Sylvester Stallone and Brandon do small gigs. And just in case you miss them, or don't recognize them, their name is repeated at every appearance. So, much for creative dialogue. The creativity actually lie in giving credits - Pooja Batra was credited for "acquiring foreign stars". Wonder who "acquired the Bollywood ones"?
The lines were bad, the jokes were lousy and needless to say predictable. The overall film cannot be called obvious because before you say the word "film" you know how it's going to end. Little did I know that the "establishing characters" bit was going to go on for the next 2.5 hours! I was wondering if the constant comments between Akshay and Kareena about each other's IQ was actually a hint at the audience who was still watching the film after the first 10 minutes.
More often than not, movies of this scale have good songs and choreography with an aesthetic sense. Not here. Music is typical Anu Malik stuff. The lyrics although are a bit more interesting than usual.
I don't remember ever having remembered my mom so often while watching a film. The brain went into a rhythmic pattern of internally yelling "MUMMMMY!!!" every couple minutes. The monsoon has set in guys. Go watch the leaves caress each other in the cool air. Certainly beats the awkward Akshay-Kareena
- meeta, a part of the audience
So-So, by Nita, A Wide Angle View of India : ...Javed Jaffrey is good. He plays a small comic role as a bystander who cons people into thinking that they have done him harm just so that he can sue them.... full review
Thumbs down, by Naresh Kumar Deoshi, Apun Ka Choice : ...Director Sabbir Khan and his band of writers (Kiran Kotrial, Anvita Dutt Gupta, Ishita Mohitra) seem clearly clueless where to take the story so they keep spinning it in circles and throw in a couple of Hollywood faces... full review
Thumbs down, by Baradwaj Rangan, Blogical Conclusion, The New Sunday Express : ...The tragedy of this comedy is that it could have delivered genuine laughs had it merely followed up on its battle-of-the-sexes premise.... full review
Thumbs down, by Roshni Mulchandani, Bolly Spice : ...Akshay Kumar is his usual over-the-top self. However, while he may not be able to adorn the best actor crown, kudos to him for his actually doing every stunt in the film.... full review
Thumbs down, fullhyd.com : ...What the Hindi version does is make it an Akshay Kumar movie - viz. remove any traces of depth or creativity, put in an au courant heroine who shows a lot of skin, force comedy in, and generally take twice the time needed to narrate a story.... full review
Thumbs down, by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes : ...Kareena Kapoor exaggerates and for god’s sake why does she have to reprise the dreadful ‘ Yeh Mera Dil ’ act in a self-spoof song ( Bebo Main Bebo, Dil Mera Lelo ).... full review
Thumbs down, by Mr. Inketi, Mr. Inketis Weblog : ...homosexuality, gender bashing etc including a scene which shows a big fat black woman wearing gloves and putting it deep in to Akshay Kumar’s ass to search for drugs!... full review
Thumbs down, by Kshitijm, Passion for Cinema : ...If there are two things that can be considered as positives for the movie, they are the beautiful locations & the high production values.... full review
Thumbs down, by Raja Sen , Rediff : ...Personally, my heart goes out to Kareena. The woman is strikingly attractive and one of the few leading ladies who can actually act...even she has to resort to role this demeaning, in a film this stupid?... full review
Thumbs down, by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies : ...why would, and how can, a person of sound mind, which Kareena’s character apparently is, voluntarily want to be with a foul-mouthed Casanova?... full review
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This page has additional observations, other than the ones noted in the main review.
Boy (Akshay Kumar) hates girls. Girl (Kareena) hates boys. You really want me to say more?