Review - Vivah: Don't hold your head and shake it in despair, just leave the theatre

wogma rating: Switch channels if it's on cable (?)

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That is, if you go there in the first place! Fans of Sooraj Barjatya - if that species is not extinct yet - might enjoy a few moments of his typical style. The rest of us didn't care in the first place.

The lead pair whispers as if the listener has the most delicate eardrums and the heroine heaves, with her head at a 45 degree angle, as if she is soon going to need asthma medication. It is acceptable if they did that for the first few times - throughout the movie though? All actors, in lead and supporting roles, try to make the best of what lines are given to them. The only actor that stands out is Seema Biswas, she suits the different character she is given.

You have the predictable dialogues that spoon-feed the audience with details of the most obvious, and leave out technical details lest they distract you from the story (if it can be called that). The predictable plot has the ‘world’s best’ human beings (especially the over-virtuous, obedient hero and the nauseatingly shy heroine) – except one. Then there is the predictable screenplay, where the only place a couple can meet is temples and the only clandestine rendezvous is on a rooftop. And surely, there is the predictable exhibition of expensive saris, salwar suits, and jewelry. Kudos to consistency!!!

But, hey, the music is unpredictable – it is outright BAD! The good thing about earlier Sooraj Barjatya movies was at least they had songs you could appreciate when you saw them and were at least hummable. Songs of Vivah just make you wish the screeching stopped.

Wake up, Mr. Barjatya, it is no more the 80’s. We are getting used to much better cinema and you have much better equipment to provide us with it. So, do not take us for granted and serve us sub-standard products!

- meeta, a part of the audience

Vivah - Movie Details

Vivah - Trailer

Comments (8)

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meetu:

Hey naresh,

Its great that you liked the movie. But, such movies don't work for me.

But, its pretty unfair to say "May b if heroines come in (only) handkerchief - u would posted a good comment".

I just wanted to clarify, I certainly did not dislike the movie because the women were fully-clad. Far from it.

It was supposed to be a romantic movie, and I did not find any of the situations romantic. Neither was there any attempt to be novel.

Thanks for stopping by.

Vikas:

He he... nice review... Actually, rather than nauseating, I found this movie extremely comical.. esp those typical filmi dialogs... one of the funniest is when Shahid steps into his dad's office, everyone looks at him wierdly... and then, his dad says, 'beta tumhare liye ek rishta aaya hai' with great enthu... not just that, most mundane stuff is stylized to border comedy... Do you do this for a living or this ur passion?

meetu:

:) Vikas! This is my passion which I'm hoping to monetize better.

TimELiebe:

Meetu - OMG, we just watched this one, and I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest, barbecued, and then served to me with a knowing smirk tolerant smile! I felt a range of emotions watching this - boredom, annoyance, nausea, exasperation, contempt, vexation….

Worst of all, everybody else who normally watched this movie with me? LOVED it! They thought it was "heartwarming" and "a look at decent people in a different culture"! Never mind that the dialogues all sounded like bad screenwriting, the emotions and "comedy" were overblown to cover the fact they were fake as Hell, and disapproving Aunty was such an obvious villain she may has well have been played by Darth Vader.

The only good thing about this movie were the two leads - sure they were playing plaster saints, but both Amrito Rao and Shahid Kapoor almost made likable characters out of the clichés they were given to play.

meetu:

@TimELiebe I know exactly what you mean! Sympathies.

TimELiebe:

Agreed, Meetu - it makes me yearn for the subtlety and wisdom of MEHBOOBA.... :o

Let us Never Speak of This Movie, Again.

meetu:

Done, TimELiebe!

Ravi:

It's been 9 years since this movie released, and I watched it yesterday and still managed the same constant smiles and the occasional choked moment. Its plain to say that some people don't sync with certain movies. That doesn't mean the movie is harmful to people. Its just that you did not like it.

And the music.... Oh god leave it! We just don't sync. Let me live in what you call as the "so called fake & unreal world" of Vivah. I dont even want to go into the whole "Western culture has totally spoiled us" debate because that for sure will get us all into some nasty arguments. To each their own!

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